For a lot of people, getting into a relationship is a relief from loneliness. Thus, it tends to become a bit of a problem when, to your surprise, you begin to find yourself experiencing feelings of loneliness. This doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship with your partner. Your feelings of loneliness may just be arising because of the very human need for physical presence. Besides the active companionship that partners provide, most simply look forward to just having someone around them. For instance, laying around the house on a Sunday afternoon, spending the evening silently watching a movie and of course, sharing a bed. When this isn’t possible, its necessary to find ways to cope with the creeping loneliness.

Here are a few tips that might help you with that!

Recognize Your Feelings

Step one is always acknowledging how you are feeling and getting to the root of why you feel that way. Don’t try and suppress the feelings, instead, embrace them. Whenever you catch yourself feeling a little lonely, slow down, and take a few moments to really think about how you feel. Once you understand your feelings, you will be well equipped to tackle them. In addition, remember that you absolutely have the power to overcome the feelings! So don’t fear the feelings, feel overwhelmed or discouraged. Whenever you note the lonely feelings, just take it as a cue to be proactive and take action to manage them!

Establish a Communication Routine

When your partner and yourself live in the same city, it becomes natural for you to have a routine for seeing each other. Perhaps you live together and will definitely see each other every night. Or you meet for a run every Monday. Or every Friday is date night! Either way, regular couples never have to wonder when they’ll get to speak to or see their partner. It shouldn’t be any different for couples in an LDR. Establishing a communication routine provides a sense of security and can alleviate some of the uncertainty that comes with distance. You never have to wonder when you get to speak to your partner, and thus the feeling like you have no one to speak (and resulting loneliness) is eliminated. This is especially important for couples with busy schedules that may not always be available on their phones. In addition, always keep each other updated on your schedules. If either of you have a packed day, remember to mention it so neither of you have to wonder when the other will respond to a text or a phone call.

Emotional Connection

Because a physical connection is not possible, you really need to put in every effort to maximise your emotional connection. During your phone calls, share the details of your day and tell them how these incidents made you feel. Express your feelings and fears, be vulnerable. Listen actively and be empathetic. This means your call time with your partner should be distraction free! Not a phone call you take on the train or while you’re busy cooking a meal. Always remind yourself that the phone call is not just part of your daily routine, instead, it’s a time to be intentional and present with your partner. Putting in the effort to be present is absolutely key to a thriving emotional connection.

Change Your Perspective

Loneliness can be emotionally draining, but it helps a lot to view being alone as an opportunity rather than a punishment. Anytime you note that you are feeling lonely, instead of feeling upset about it, try and change your perspective on it. Think of all the good your loneliness represents. It represents your independence and self-sufficiency. It represents your ability to focus on personal growth. It represents your freedom. It could represent lots of different things for different people. So take the time to reflect about all the good that is associated with your loneliness. But for a lot of us, most of all, our loneliness represents our love. That the love between you and your partner was so strong that you were willing to go the distance for each other.

Trust me on this, you need to change your perspective on the loneliness. Because it will come, and you can’t avoid it, you can only embrace and make the most of it.

Keep Yourself Engaged

Being in an LDR likely means you have a little more time than regular couples. It could mean empty Friday nights or Sunday mornings. These moments, when you’re alone at home and not doing much, are prime moments for the loneliness to kick in. So making sure you’re active and engaged can help a lot with preventing the feelings of loneliness from coming in. You could volunteer, create a fitness routine or pick up a new hobby. It could also be a relaxing time for self-care. Putting in the effort to build meaningful activities into your weekly schedule is one of the best things you can do for yourself during an LDR. It takes a while to find something you like and really make a habit of it so don’t be discouraged if you’re having trouble with making a new activity a routine. Just keep taking the initiative to try new things. Who knows, you might end up with a hobby that completely changes your life!

Build a Supportive Network

Friends and family are an absolute lifeline in an LDR. Maintaining an active social life is important in ensuring you get your required share of meaningful physical human interaction. Amidst busy schedules (or even just laziness and complacency), spending time with friends and family can often take a back seat. Hence, it’s important to be proactive and make the effort to initiate time spent with friends and family. Being a part of nurturing community will really help to fill a lot of the voids associated with living away from your partner.

Conclusion

Managing loneliness in an LDR definitely requires proactive work, so be ready to put in the effort to see the results! However, I really encourage you to try your best to put in the effort. More often than not, the loneliness arises from the situation, not your relationship with your partner. Hence, don’t let it be the reason why your relationship doesn’t work out. All relationships require effort to make things work so an LDR is no different.